2_old_for_this | From the Preserve to MCA, Saturday

Entry tags:

kanan jarrus,
magic

From the Preserve to MCA, Saturday

It was fairly quiet out here in the preserve; the odd animals seemed uninterested in Peter, which was fine with him. He wasn't out here to animal-watch.

It had gotten oppressive in his apartment, the walls seeming to press on him along with the memories. He still needed to do more, though. The magic was coming back to him, and he needed to remember more.

The air crackled slightly around him as he sank to his knees and took a deep breath. He cupped his hands together, channeling the excess energy into a ball, then pushing it away to dissipate in the air. He took another breath and sank back into the memories of Hell, searching for what he needed. From the outside, it might look like meditation, if you ignored the expression on his face.

[Expecting one!]

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"I wouldn't be throwing magic around if I hadn't been startled out of it." Peter held up his hands. "Not blaming you, just - if I'm home alone, it won't be dangerous." He snorted humorlessly. "Well, not for anyone but me."

Kanan continued leaning against his tree, watching Peter quietly for a few seconds before heaving a sigh.

"Right, fair enough. So, what were you doing that's so dangerous for you?"

You had seemed like a decent person, Peter. Kanan didn't want to think you were a Sith, but the whole 'lightning from the hands' thing wasn't reassuring at all. Especially following what he had seen around you through the Force.

Peter grimaced. "Remembering."

Kanan resisted the knee-jerk urge to say something smart or to throw something at Peter for that reply. Clearly, the man had some things to work through, here.

It was just that apparently, having things to work through made him a very dangerous man.

He pulled in a deep breath, then pushed off from the tree and walked over to Peter, offering him his hand.

"I'm not going to drag particulars out of you," he grumbled. "Everybody has something, and all. But I'm here if you do want to talk. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to hear it. Not just because you nearly vaporized me, either."

That did help some, though.

"Yeah." Peter gave him a smile that was as much a grimace and took that hand to pull himself up. "I can tell you some. It's not like it's a secret. Just...can we walk or something?" He was still feeling antsy, and the trees were close. He needed to move.

"Yeah," Kanan said, arms crossing over his chest again once Peter was on his feet. "We can walk. Want to head back to my place, have some... tea... or something?"

He'd offer Peter the caf he'd gotten last weekend, but he wasn't feeling actively homicidal, as annoyed as he was to have the Force hanging around the edges of his consciousness, with him not wanting to nudge it aside. That lightning had left him more shaken than he wanted to admit.

"Pet the dog. Level with one another a bit."

Peter had been going to suggest just wandering the preserve, but he wasn't going to turn aside a gesture of trust like that one.

"Yeah. That'd be...nice." He rubbed his arms absently, less from any sort of cold and more to reassure himself that he was all here, really here and not back there again.

"Alright..." Kanan turned back toward town, pausing to make certain Peter was going to keep pace with him easily. "I suppose I should apologize, too, for startling you."

It hadn't been his intention, of course. But that didn't change the fact that it had happened.

"It's okay." Peter shrugged it off with a self-deprecating smile. "Most folks probably don't...well."

Don't accidentally try and kill you for it.

"You'd be surprised." Kanan shrugged, picking his way between the trees. He was doing a remarkable job of keeping calm, all things considered. "Can I ask what that lightning was about? Where does a guy pick up a trick like that?"

If you were Sith, Peter, Kanan was going to be so annoyed.

"I..." Peter blew out a breath. "I never know where to start." He thought about it for a while as they walked, then decided to start with, "You're from somewhere else. Do you have the concept of demons? Of Hell?"

"We've got both," Kanan confirmed. "I have no idea how similar it might be in my neck of reality, but Hell, the Void, Chaos... supposedly, they're a dark place, the final destination for the spirits of the darkest sentient beings after they die."

He tilted his head curiously and regarded Peter in silence for a moment.

"Demons - and angels for that matter - so far as I'm aware, are only myth. But my... that is, a teacher of mine used to tell me that there was some truth in stories. I take it you've got a little more than myth to contend with."

"Yeah." Peter nodded jerkily. "On Earth, Hell is the underworld, full of fire and torment, ruled by demons, where the souls of the evil are punished. According to myths."

He paused a bit longer, taking a few deep breaths. "Yeah. There's some truth in stories."

Kanan paused mid-step, turning a look toward Peter that was somewhere between curious and cautious.

"And you've got experience." He hesitated a moment more, and then started walking again. "It's funny. You really didn't strike me as the 'damned for all eternity' sort when we met."

Did Dark Lords of the Sith buy people coffee?

"Thanks." Peter chuckled, strained but real. "There was...a battle." He started trying to think of a way to explain it, then just shook his head. "It'd take too long to go into it all. But this sorcerer summoned a demon lord from Hell. If he'd made it through the portal, he could have killed thousands, millions, hell, everything, I don't know."

He scrubbed his hands over his face again. "We had to stop him. The sorcerer had summoned him, so he was coming to the sorcerer. The demon lord was halfway through the portal. There wasn't even much time to think. I grabbed the sorcerer and dove back through it."

Kanan was quiet as Peter spoke, listening intently, chewing on every word. When it seemed as though Peter was done, he blew out a soft breath.

Well then.

"I suppose that explains a lot of it," he allowed. "I'd be doing my best Terrelian Jango Jumper impression, too."

He imagined so, anyway. He was paranoid enough about things that didn't involve throwing himself into the mouth of Hell in an act of selfless heroism.

"There was a lot of..." Kanan fell silent for a moment, and then, finding some resolve, pushed forward all the same. "... of darkness around you. Fear and hate and power, things that I was taught to be wary of, growing up."

For totally normal reasons that had nothing to do with the Force, honest.

"You could feel that?" Peter asked, a little worried. How much of that had bled off from him?

"Like a punch to the guts," Kanan admitted, and then drew in a slow breath. "But only because I went looking. I doubt most people would have noticed unless they were sensitive to that sort of thing."

Here he was taking a huge damn risk. If Peter actually was an agent of the Sith, confessing Force sensitivity was practically suicide. Kanan wasn't being obvious about it at all, but his right hand was hovering near enough to his blaster that he could draw it in a heartbeat if need be.

His was a healthy paranoia.

Peter looked at Kanan with interest, but nodded. They could talk about that later, maybe. Right now, he still owed Kanan an explanation.

"I've learned a lot of magic over the years. If I can remember enough, I think I can open a portal home."

Kanan resumed breathing. Okay, there was no immediate attack incoming. No wicked cackle declaring that he was a fool for sharing his secret, or anything like that. He could probably afford to relax at least a little bit.

"So... that's what you were doing, then? Trying to get home?"

He could appreciate that.

"It's...taking a while," Peter said. "There's a lot to remember before I get that far. And I don't always know where the memories will take me."

"Which is why you were so easily startled," Kanan offered, not unkindly. "You had demons and darkness closing in on you, and then here I come, poking at you out of nowhere."

Well, not nowhere. But it isn't as though Peter had heard him calling his name, either.

"Pretty much," Peter agreed. There was a bit more to it, but that was close enough. "I'm still sorry."

"Well..." Kanan huffed a sigh, looked up toward the leaves of the trees towering above them. They were almost out of the preserve now, and he could see fits and starts of sky above them as they went. "You missed, anyway. No harm done. Except to that tree back there."

And once again, Kanan was thankful that it had been him, and not some well-meaning student, or anybody else who didn't have a history of Jedi training and a sixth sense for when to move.

"So." He glanced back at Peter again. "Getting home is worth dragging your mind through Hell again, is it?"

Peter was silent for a while.

"I blocked out a lot of it," he eventually answered. "It was the only way I could survive. But if I want to remember how to use the magic, I have to remember how and when I learned it."

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